Why is being a true gentleman, a true brother, and a true companion such an important part of the Christian Philosophy of Life? First, Paul wrote to the Philippian congregation: “Let your gentle spirit be known to all people. The Lord is near.” (Phil. 4:5). The Greek adjective epieikēs is defined as “equitable, fair, mild, and gentle.”[1] ChatGPT adds: “reasonable, not insisting on every right or letter of the law, yielding when necessary to the spirit over the letter, and a spirit of mercy and balance.”[2]
Paul was right to emphasize “gentleness.” When we seek to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we should seek to build a reputation of “gentleness” both inside and outside of the Church. The best reputation toward outsiders is to be known as someone who is balanced, reasonable, and fair. Additionally, we should be receptive and humble when discussing our views. Not one of us is infallible. Everything that we say should be put to the test of the Spirit and Word.
Twice, Paul warned his readers to be gentle and “not contentious” (or, a bully) (1 Tim. 3:3; Titus 3:2). The Greek adjective amachos is defined as “not contentious.”[3] A contentious person has a tendency to engage in arguments or open conflict rather than the free and open exchange of ideas. Sharing our faith is not about winning an argument. Better is gentleness and mutual respect than winning an argument.
Interestingly, the English word “gentleman” has its roots from the Latin gentilis, which means “family or clan” and later came to mean “well-born or noble.”[4] However, between around 1400 to 1600 AD, the word “gentleman” broadened its meaning to include the ideas of honor and high character.[5] So, over the centuries, the English word “gentleman” took on additional and fuller meanings of high character, which are very much in line with the Greek word epieikēs.[6] Christians should seek to be seen as gentlemen and gentlewomen. At all times, we should reflect the nature of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is full of grace and truth (John 1:14).
Our Christian Philosophy of Life should also include the desire to be true companions to our Christian brothers. As seen in Scripture, male companionship was an important theme in Hebrew culture. What is a true companion? Psalm 119:63 reads, “I am a companion to all those who fear You [God], and to those who keep your precepts.” The Hebrew adjective ḥāḇēr is defined as “united, associate, companion.”[7] The Hebrew noun piqqûḏîm is defined as “mandate, commandment, precept, [or] statute.”[8] True companions in Christ are united in their intent to serve God and follow His commandments. It is not necessary that true companions agree on every detail of Scripture. We become united in our desire to serve God and do His will, not because we have a total agreement on the interpretation of every line of Scripture.
At Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, we read:
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up! Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
In Jewish culture, David and Jonathan were the model of male companionship. Jonathan was the son of King Saul, who became a bitter rival of David. However, Jonathan was more interested in the purposes of God as opposed to his personal ambition. Jonathan committed himself to David, and “Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him [David] as himself” (1 Sam. 18:3). Jonathan and David were aligned to the purposes of God. False brotherhood seeks to use the other for personal advancement, whether in business or in social stature. Some false brothers seek to “lord over” others. True companionship and brotherhood are built on mutual respect, loyalty, trust, emotional support, and appropriate emotional openness. They are not characterized by rivalry or inordinate competition.
Finally, for many men, their wives are their primary companions. Malachi wrote that by God’s design, “she is your marriage companion and your wife by covenant (Mal. 2:14). The root noun ḥāḇēr is defined as “companion, fellow, knit together.”[9] The Hebrew words used by Malachi to describe the wife were ‘iššâ bᵊrîṯ, which are defined as a “woman of the covenant” or “covenant woman.”[10] It refers to a woman bound to her husband by sacred covenant.[11] At Proverbs 18:22, we read, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” At Proverbs 12:4, we read, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.” Finally, in the Song of Songs, we read the woman say, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…” (Song of Songs 6:3). The unique bonding between the husband and wife was first demonstrated by Adam and Eve in the Garden. Ideally, the couple is required to function as “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Each belongs to the other.
So, in summary, seeking to be gentlemen and gentlewomen, brothers and sisters in Christ, and true companions should be a priority to us. Displaying and acting in gentleness draws people to us and provides us with an opportunity for the exchange of ideas and truth and for developing relationships. And, as stated above, true Christian brothers are united in their service to God in Christ. It is unrealistic to believe that we will have complete agreement on the interpretation of every Scripture verse. We should avoid being contentious. Finally, companionship should be at the heart and center of every marriage, bonding husband and wife together in intimacy and purpose.
[1] “G1933 – epieikēs – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1933/nasb20/mgnt/0-1/>.
[2] “Define and pronounce epieikes” prompt. ChatGPT, GPT-4, Open AI, 23 July 2025, chat.openai.com/chat.
[3] “G269 – amachos – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g269/nasb20/mgnt/0-1/>.
[4] “What is the English etymology for the English word gentleman” prompt. ChatGPT, GPT-4, Open AI, 23 July 2025, chat.openai.com/chat.
[5] “When did the word gentleman develop connotations of honor and high character” prompt. ChatGPT, GPT-4, Open AI, 23 July 2025, chat.openai.com/chat.
[6] “G1933 – epieikēs – Strong’s Greek Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1933/nasb20/mgnt/0-1/>.
[7] “H2270 – ḥāḇēr – Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h2270/nasb20/wlc/0-1/>.
[8] “H6490 – piqqûḏîm – Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h6490/nasb20/wlc/0-1/>.
[9] “H2270 – ḥāḇēr – Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 22 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h2270/nasb20/wlc/0-1/>.
[10] “H802 – ‘iššâ – Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h802/nasb20/wlc/0-1/>.; “H1285 – bᵊrîṯ – Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon (nasb20).” Blue Letter Bible. Web. 23 Jul, 2025. <https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h1285/nasb20/wlc/0-1/>.
[11] “Define ishah berit” prompt. ChatGPT, GPT-4, Open AI, 23 July 2025, chat.openai.com/chat.
