During the 1960s, America experienced a sexual revolution, which challenged traditional sexual norms and promoted sexual liberation. Now, some are noticing that there have been a number of negative consequences from the movement, particularly for women and children. And it is getting worse. Additionally, it is noted that many men have generally become less responsible, not more responsible toward women and children. Mary Eberstadt, has written two books Adam and Eve after the Pill (2012) and Adam and Eve after the Pill, Revisited (2023)[1], which have cataloged the damages to society from the 1960’s sexual revolution. Eberstadt believes that the technological advances associated with birth control during the 1960’s and the legalization of abortion in 1973 were the precipitating historical events that triggered the sexual revolution.
While I agree that the advances in birth control and the legalization of abortion have both played significant roles in the sexual revolution, I place most of the blame for the resulting disorder and destruction to the family on the selfishness of men. Primarily, the sexual revolution was and is driven by men seeking sexual gratification without a sense of responsibility. All too often, men do not show responsibility to the women or children left behind. Whether generally known or not, with typical use, the birth control pill still fails around 10% of the time.[2] Sex is never risk-free or cost-free.
As to sex, our modern society primarily communicates that “consent” is the only issue, while ignoring the destruction to our culture. In 1965, only 3.1% of white children were born to unwed mothers, and 24% of African American children were born to unwed mothers.[3] Just 20 years ago, the number of children born to unmarried parents was 33%.[4] However, now over 40% of the children in America, irrespective of race, are born to unmarried parents.[5] Less and less, men are settling down and taking responsibility for families.[6] Overall, one in four children in America now grow up in a home without a father.[7] The percentage is even higher for African Americans, where 65% of the children grow up without a father in the home.[8] Eberstadt writes,
The vast majority of incarcerated juveniles have grown up in fatherless homes. Teen and other mass murderers almost invariably have filial rupture in their biographies. Absent fathers predict higher rates of truancy, psychiatric problems, criminality, promiscuity, drug use, rape, domestic violence, and other tragic outcomes.[9]
As pointed out by Political Scientist James Wilson, the United States has become a country of “two nations.”[10] However, now, the key dividing line is not one of social class, income, or race. The key dividing line is whether or not one is raised in a broken or intact home.[11] Wilson observed, “It is not money… but the family that is the foundation of public life. As [the family] has become weaker, every structure built upon that foundation has become weaker.”[12] Wilson further stated:
Children in one-parent families, compared to those in two-parent ones, are twice as likely to drop out of school. Boys in one-parent families are much more likely than those in two-parent ones to be out of school and out of work. Girls in one-parent families are twice as likely as those in two-parent ones to have an out-of-wedlock birth. These differences are not explained by income…. Children raised in single-parent homes [are] more likely to be suspended from school, to have emotional problems, and to behave badly.[13]
Again, because men are the primary sexual aggressors, men must bear the greatest responsibility for the destruction of the family. Of course, women do play a role. There is a lot of “cheap sex,” and “there are diminished incentives for men to marry, due to the flooded sexual marketplace of potential partners.”[14]
The answer to the disaster created by the 1960’s sexual revolution is an idea that gained momentum during the First Century AD. It is called monogamy. During the First Century in the Roman Empire, infidelity and prostitution were common. Additionally, many wealthy men took advantage of their slaves. In contrast, the growing Christian Faith taught the necessity and importance of monogamy. Paul instructed Christians to flee sexual immorality, and he taught Christian men to not have sex with prostitutes (1 Cor. 6:15-19).
In her book: The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, Louise Perry writes that
When monogamy is imposed on a society, it tends to become richer. It has lower rates of child abuse and domestic violence…. Birth rates and crime rates both fall, which encourages economic development, and wealthy men, denied the opportunity to devote their resources to acquiring more wives, instead invest elsewhere: in property, businesses, employees, and other productive endeavors.[15]
Louise Perry further wrote:
This is, it seems, the solution to what anthropologists have called ‘the puzzle of monogamous marriage’. How is it that a marriage system that does not suit the interests of the most powerful members of society – high status men – has nevertheless come to be institutionalized across so much of the world? The answer is that, although monogamy is less satisfactory for these men, it produces wealthy, stable societies that survive.
A monogamous marriage system is successful in part because it pushes men away from cad mode, particularly when pre-marital sex is also prohibited. Under these circumstances, if a man wants to have sex in a way that’s socially acceptable, he has to make himself marriageable, which means holding down a good job and setting up a household suitable for the raising of children. He has to tame himself, in other words. Fatherhood then has a further taming effect, even at the biochemical level: when men are involved in the care of their young children, their testosterone levels drop, alongside their aggression and sex drive. A society composed of tamed men is a better society to live in, for men, for women, and for children.[16]
Unfortunately, in response to the sexual revolution of the 1960s, much of our population has disregarded or abandoned our Christian heritage. However, the Christian faith was the primary reason that Western Civilization adopted monogamy in the first place as the primary institution for promoting social order. The Apostle Paul offered this very important directive: “Because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). Further, the Apostle Paul acknowledged that men and women often have different levels of libido. Paul wrote, “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Cor. 7:5). In other words, married couples need to learn how to work out their differences in regard to their sexual appetites by coming to reasonable compromises. Each has a duty to the other (1 Cor. 7:3). Monogamy is the only solution, and it is extremely beneficial to women, children, and society as a whole.
[1] Eberstadt, Mary. Adam and Eve After the Pill, Revisited. Ignatius Press, San Francisco, 2023.
[2] Perry, Louise. The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century. Polity Press, 2022, p. 166.
[3] Akerlof, George A., Janet L. Yellen. “An Analysis of Out-of-Wedlock Births in the United States.” Brookings, 15 Aug 2023, https://www.brookings.edu/articles/an-analysis-of-out-of-wedlock-births-in-the-united-states/#:~:text=In%201965%2C%2024%20percent%20of,are%20born%20into%20fatherless%20families.
[4] Eberstadt, p. 88.
[5] Eberstadt, p. 87.
[6] Eberstadt, p. 38.
[7] Eberstadt, p. 108.
[8] Ibid.
[9] Ibid.
[10] Eberstadt, p. 82.
[11] Ibid.
[12] Ibid.
[13] Ibid.
[14] Eberstadt, p. 38 (quoting, Regerus, Mark. Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy. (New York, NY; Oxford University Press, 2017), 39).
[15] Perry, p. 182.
[16] Ibid.
